Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Reasons We Will Survive

We will survive. We will all survive. No matter how hard it gets, we will pull through it stronger than before. How do I know this?

We will survive..
...Just to see the sun set again.
...So we can help others out from the hells we left behind.
...So we can see the moon and think of its beauty.
...Just so that when we say that it's going to be alright, we don't feel hypocritical.
...Because it's what we do.
...Because we have to.
...So that we can show the world that we can.

That's why we're going to survive.
Part of the reason, anyway.

Stay strong, peeps.
~Angela

Friday, December 16, 2011

To Talk To

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”  ~Lemony Snicket

As much as we want that quote above to be untrue, wishing (contrary to popular fairy tales) usually doesn't do didly squat, especially when faced with truth and real life.
Unfortunately, it sometimes seems like there is no one at all to talk to. That there is no one you can talk to when you wake up during the middle of the night- or even when you get that feeling randomly in the middle of the afternoon. You can feel helpless and pointless and like you're never going to do anything else.

There is always someone there.

That can sound slightly hypocritical coming from a girl who, for the longest time, believed that no one cared (and who still struggles with that sometimes) but it's true. There is always someone there to listen to you. There is always going to be your "friend at midnight" who will wake up just to listen to you cry on the phone. There is always going to be someone you can talk to when you feel like you just want to rip the heads off of everyone you meet. There is always someone there who is going to be there when you feel so happy that you think you're going to burst, and for the times when you feel so down in the pits of despair that you don't think that the tallest ladder will get you out.

There is always someone there.

A year ago, my mom said something that really made me think. "See, Mary wakes up really early but goes to bed really early. But April goes to sleep at about three, and she wakes up at nine. So, no matter what time I  need to talk, I know there's going to be one of them who is there to listen to me."
There is always someone there to listen to you. Or to talk to you. It doesn't matter whether you want to rant about random stuff, or talk about fuzzy rabbits, or just sit there and know that someone is there, even if you don't say anything. There is always someone there.

There is always someone there.

It can be a friend. It can be someone you've only met online. It can be a best friend. It can be the guy you hate. It can be your mom, your aunt, your grandma, some random stranger at a suicide hotline (1800SUICIDE is one) or an online service (http://www.imalive.org/ is an online chat service for people in crisises) or anyone else. But I can guarentee that there is going to be someone there. Always someone there. And sometimes help comes from unexpected places. People you didn't think would care about you at all stay up all night talking to you to keep you happy. People you barely know say goodbye to you every day by the phrase "stay happy!". Near complete strangers will write your name on their arms.
But help can come from expected places, too. Your best friend will keep trying to convince you that life has a point. Your sister will give you random hugs. Friends moms will say that they love you.
The point is: You are never alone. Never ever ever ever ever.

There is always someone there.
There is always someone there.

If all else fails, I encourage you to start a blog about it. Or a journal. Something along those lines.
If you want, you can even email me, and I'll try to reply when I can.
There is always someone there.

<3

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Always

People beat addictions every day.
The package of cigarettes goes untouched.
A bottle of alcohol is tossed in the trash unopened.
The anorexic girl takes a bite of food.
A man resists the urge to take drugs.

Self harm is just as much of an addiction.

There is an actual scientific explanation for it. When you cut or burn yourself your body releases chemicals that actually give you a natural high. The chemicals that your body releases are the same ones that are contained in the drug cocaine, and the ones your body releases when you exercise.
Of course, the high you get is somewhat different. You don't get high as you see in movies. Instead, when you get this high from self harm, it makes you feel better. You feel good. You feel like you can handle it. You feel like you can survive whatever it is that's making you hurt yourself in the first place. However, just like cocaine, it's an addiction. A physical addiction. Once you cut or burn yourself once, you want to do it again.

The good news, though?

Addictions can be broken.

It's true. It's hard to break addictions. It's really, really, really stinking hard. You want to hurt yourself again to feel that rush of hope. You want to cut yourself to feel emotion.

But you can break it.

I have faith in you. Life is never as bad as it seems. You're never as hopeless as you think you are. There is always something to encourage you to stop cutting, or burning or whatever. There always is. I know so many people who have been able to stop. It's not easy, and we all know that. But you can do it, nevertheless. You can always do something about it.

Always.

Thursday, December 1, 2011